


empty.

by ghostscantdie



Series: aro snufkin [1]
Category: Mumintroll | Moomins Series - Tove Jansson, 楽しいムーミン一家 | Moomin (Anime)
Genre: But Snufkin doesn't quite know how to feel about that, Character Study, Drabble, Implied Unrequited Love, It's implied Moomin has feelings for Snufkin, Just Snufkin's thoughts, Snufkin has a lot of feelings and trouble acknowledging them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2020-01-24 10:49:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18569887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostscantdie/pseuds/ghostscantdie
Summary: Snufkin was too much his own person to ever be a part of a pair, and that, he thought, was the way it was meant to be.





	empty.

**Author's Note:**

> i've been thinking a lot lately, about feelings and love and relationships, and what they mean to other people versus what they mean to me, so this is basically 300ish words of me projecting onto snufkin, ahaha.
> 
> edit: this is now listed under my "aro snufkin" series, but that's mostly for my benefit. the reason this fic isn't tagged as aromantic is because in this fic snufkin isn't explicitly written as aromantic, just implied to be.

Snufkin was fairly certain he was born without feelings.

He had feelings now, after many years, but he was born empty, and the feelings had to be poured into him. It was, he supposed, the reason behind his preoccupation with the Moomins and Moominvalley. The Moomins and other inhabitants of Moominvalley were all so kind to him, so loving, that even though he had small cracks through which the feelings leaked out of him, he was never empty.

Perhaps that was why he had to leave. Too much time with feelings and he would fill up and overflow, and the feelings would come leaking out of his eyes and mouth through tears and words.

Or maybe he was less like an empty cup, and more an empty glass. When you gazed into it, you saw a warped reflection of your own face, and Snufkin, too, did little more than reflect those around him, but imperfectly.

Moomin. Moomin, who cared so much for him. Moomin, who he cared so much for. But Moomin cared and felt so deeply that Snufkin, born without feelings, born empty Snufkin, could never dream to care so much. Snufkin’s feelings were a reflection, a shadow of Moomin’s, a shallow pool to Moomin’s vast, deep ocean.

Snufkin cared, and tried to show it in small ways, but Moomin devoted and surrendered himself so utterly to his love that it frightened him. Was this what was expected of him? To give himself up so completely to love that he lost himself? That love and his partner in it would become all that defined him? He couldn’t. He couldn’t. He could never bring himself to do it.

Moomin didn’t deserve someone so empty. While he feared that one day Moomin would move on and forget him, a small, hateful part of him wished he would. If Moomin forgot him, they would both be better off. Moomin could infatuate himself with someone better than him, someone more deserving of admiration, someone who could love him truly and fully in return, and Snufkin could go back to being empty. And alone.

Snufkin was too much his own person to ever be a part of a pair, and that, he thought, was the way it was meant to be.

**Author's Note:**

> i may make a sort of sequel to this. i'm not sure.
> 
> it would probably be far happier than this, with a resolution that doesn't leave it all up in the air.
> 
> thanks for reading.


End file.
